Early Marriage, Good or Bad?
At what specific age should one marry? Well, it depends on a lot of factors. And so, there’s no specific age for marriage. Yet, many young people are concerned, especially as their parents would always tell them they are too young to marry
Marriage is for men and women, not for boys and girls, and so, it’s very dangerous to rush into it. That notwithstanding, there are people who are finding it difficult to find who to marry; ladies at age 35+ and men at ages 40+. So, which one do we go for, early or late marriage?
Personally, I support early marriage. I’ll give some reasons. But then, there are exceptions. The early marriage am talking about still requires that you’re matured in every way: physically (at least age 20), financially (have a reliable and regular source of income), psychologically (can control your emotions and handle situations), spiritually (can stand as a priest for your family, raising godly children)
Here are some reasons it’s good to marry early
- To Avoid Sin: I remember my pastor (Rev. Ojo) saying to me, “forget about money, go and marry.” I didn’t understand him then, but now, I know better. Many who are claiming “not ready” for marriage are sunk in sexual sins because you cannot cheat nature. I was shocked when a guy told me he dated a lady for 12 years during which she had abortion 9 times, and in the end, they didn’t marry. Our problem is that we don’t fear God. Instead of having premarital sex and destroying your glory and relationship with God, why not marry? That will automatically end that temptation and sin. Living a pure and holy life should be our priority
Health Reasons: our fathers and mothers were much stronger than us. At age 50, our mothers were still giving birth and our fathers were still very active. But nowadays, I wouldn’t advise a 45 year old to continue having babies. The Coca colas and junks we eat from everywhere have made us a lot weaker. By age 45, one should be done with child bearing. But if as a lady, you get married at age 33 or 35, and then you have a few more years of delay, it could pose some health threat
Decreased Fertility: age does play a major role in a woman’s fertility. Fertility is at its highest during a woman’s 20s. From the age of 23 to 31, a woman is at her most fertile. From then fertility declines by 3% each year until a woman turns 35. After 35, fertility begins to deteriorate quickly. By the age of 39, she will be half as fertile as she was at 31 and between 39 and 42 this is halved once again. DNA in sperm degrades as men age and can then be passed along to children in permanently degraded and irreparable form, which they likely pass on as well. Children born by old parents may have some defects that may only be discovered in the grandchildren, according to recent researches.
The Honey of Youthfulness: Sex is best enjoyed by men between the ages of 20s and early 30s, though there’s a little variation. When you, a 35 year old man marries a 32 year old lady, your best years sexually could be behind you already. The lady’s breasts may have sagged already, not as a result of immorality but age. No wonder the Bible says “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” (Prov. 5:18-19). Take note: wife of your YOUTH, not wife of your old age
Menopause: a friend once told me of a family close to her in which their women enter menopause at age 35. When a woman reaches menopause, it means, she no longer menstruates and when a woman doesn’t menstruate, she can’t conceive. So, all these ideas of “I want to have a PhD and build a mansion before I marry” are dangerous. What if you suddenly enter menopause? A woman should be done with child bearing at age 45, not planning her wedding
Retirement and Old Age: an average worker retires at 60 – 65. At this age, your retirement funds are meant for you to probably get a small bungalow in your village, enjoy your life with your children and grandchildren travelling to any part of the world at will and serving God. But if you get married at 40, it means by 60, your first child is still in school and some of them are probably in junior secondary school. So, your retirement money goes into school fees when you have stopped working. This could make your old age full of stress and worries. It is better to start early
Plan your life early; today, by age 18 – 19, some people are already university graduates. Don’t be so slack that you’d have to rewrite SSCE or JAMB. Focus on your studies so you don’t have extra years. Have a plan B, don’t rely on someone employing you, you can start your business and life while you’re yet in school. It is only in Nigeria that people remain idle for 5 good years in the name of “I am a full time student.” It doesn’t happen anywhere else in the world. Get yourself busy with a money making venture while in school. If you’re already out of school but expecting to become a billionaire before you get married, you need help
Of course, marriage isn’t the first thing, you must be ready for it as explained above, but your life must be well planned ahead. Parents, help your kids plan their lives. Our life is all about time. A wasted time is a wasted life. Start early!
God bless you
An Article of Unique Vessels of God ©2018 – 0542